I have always been a compulsive overeater. I can remember I would eat just because the food was just there. It was a behavior that I learned from my father. Overeating until your stomach aches was highly encouraged at his house. I am certain that there was emotional problems involved also. Some of them I still battle against today.
When I fail (I still have set backs), I try to not feel remorse. Once my emotions are on their place it’s time to sit back and analyze all activities, shortcomings, personalities I dealt with that probably triggered my old behavior.
This post is a list for you. I want you read through them and if you can identify some as yours, to use the awareness as a weapon. To be more diligent next time it occurs. This post is also for me, as a reminder. Because I don’t want to forget (and I won’t) who I was when I was in full flesh addiction.
These are the reasons I binge;
- I am tired
- I am stressed out
- I am worried
- I am excited
- I had a conflict with someone
- I had a conflict within
- I am on my period
- My HS flares (frustrated)
- I am eating alone
- My food plan for the day got changed (not by my, not intentionally)
- I feel restricted or I have to many options (like in a buffet)
- Other people is binging near me
- If I eat peanut butter
As I keep learning about myself, I will be updating this post. I believe this is a great way for me to acknowledge that recovery doesn’t happen overnight, but it takes time, courage, perseverance and hope.