Binge Eating & Bulimia · Literature · Poetry

After a binge…

When I was in high school I wanted to be a writer. It was my dream to be published. There is short stories and poems of mine. My friends used to love reading my stuff. I applied for a literature B.A at the University of Puerto Rico, Cayey where I was accepted. I stupidly turned down the opportunity because of fear of losing a boyfriend. Then I quit writing. So, this is my first poem in ten (10) years. Please acknowledge my native language is Spanish and some of my grammar and spelling are not proper.

After a binge 
I feel bad
I feel shame
I feel like a crazy pig

I try to change
Once again
Do it hard 
I know I'll fail

I have to die
My old self
I need to be
Someone else

I hate myself 
I hate my skin
'Cause like a zombie 
I'm slowly in

A pool of mud
I'm sinking in
I want to eat 
Your messy stress 

I want to run?
I want to pray?
I can't make up
My scary brain

I need a body
A new one to like
I want the strength
To fight for me


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