I have always been big. Not “fat”, just bigger than the other girls at school. My dad is a think man and my mom is a thin women. I took over my dad’s physical features. Sometimes I hear people saying things like “I remember when I was in high school, I was so skinny”. Well I do not remember those days. I was never thin. As I mention in the last blog post I grew up in a house where overeating was normal. We would just eat when we wanted, as much as we wanted. It was the right thing to do. It was almost the rule. We (my brother and I) would choose out meals and my dad allowed us to have that power. My brother had Chef Boyardee for breakfast, air popped popcorn for lunch, and I would have fried chicken then Sara Lee pound cake topped with ice cream for the same meals. It was freedom.
My dad and I, May 2014
After my second baby, I reached the 248 pounds. I probably weighed more than that, but under frustration I avoided the scale. I was not “happy” being “thick” no more. Around the same time I was considering a chance on my eating habits I got a letter from my medical insurance offering a paid for Weight Watcher program. I enrolled and began my weight loss journey. Four (4) months passed since I started the WW program. I have lost 40 pounds so far and I felt like this was the right thing for me. Here was two (2) real problems with the program; One (1) Weight Watcher works as long you go to meetings. Each meeting has a cost of $15, not adding up other singing up fees. At some point in my life, I would feel like I have to be on my own. Some people argue the group support that Weight Watchers provides, but if that’s the only reason I am paying big money to be part of it I might as well go to Overeaters Anonymous. The second (2) problem is that counting points, it really works in a controlled environment (like your home). And yes,they try to give you tools (a book or an app) where you can find or scan food items when you are eating out, but the reality is that food contain calories, not points. This point system from Weight Watchers work for some in a long term, but not for me.
Another year passed after quitting WW point program and I have gained all my weight back and more. At that time, there was another famous diet spreading on facebook and other social media sites. Juicing blew up my news feed avery so often that I decided I would watch Joe’s documentary Fat Sick and Nearly Dead, on Netflix. Feeling disgusted, depressed and angry at myself, went out to Walmart to buy a juicer together with the required veggies to make some mean green juice. With my husband on the same boat as me, I fasted for 6 straight days. At the end of that 6th day we decided together that we weren’t going to do it. Instead, we just made the commitment to each other on eating more salad. That night we went to Pizza Ranch Buffet for dinner.
My mom, dad and I. Often I use this picture to confirm I look like my dad and not my mom. Many people differ.
Right after the juice diet, I started eating cleaner. I incorporated more vegetables and fruits to my daily diet. Soon I became a vegetarian, then a vegan. Slowly I lost weight and gained some right back. Pizza, breadsticks, dinner rolls and rice were still in my regular meals. I was also having ice cream, candy bars and a lot of cereal high in sugar. I couldn’t quit having them. I would make up excuses like “It’s just this time” or “Is free pizza, why not?”. I loved my carbs.
Potatoes and Carrot Diet
Soon I heard about this diet when you can eat only potatoes and carrots every meal, every day, all day long. Since potatoes are a complex carb is not as damaging as you would think. Somehow the potatoes and the carrots helped me to lose fewer more pounds. When I hit the 190ish pounds I went crazy and all I could think about was on restricting my diet even more to lose weight faster. I wanted all the results at the moment. Why not?
All this time, I was going to Overeaters Anonymous and waiting my time with the diets. I honestly could not recognize how obsessive I was getting with food. I would fight with my husband and kids over good vs. bad food. I was annoying and there was no gray in my life at the time. I keep restricting myself of everything in the world I labeled as “bad” or “unhealthy”. For a year in a half I was losing weight, but I was setting myself up for failure. I was getting compliments constantly about my weight loss, but I still felt fat. Then I knew that I had to do something different.