Internet · Social Media · Social Network · Web

Reasons why I quitted Facebook

Social media has become the first communication method used nowadays. People don’t need phone numbers anymore, not even to text! Facebook has played a huge part on how humans socialize. I remember being a teenager on the early 2000 when MySpace was popular (at least until Facebook came along), most people talked on chat rooms and forum communities.

I still remember the day I decided to join Facebook, I logged out my account and let it sit for a few weeks. I did not liked the layout and I thought it was boring (not many people had switched from MySpace yet and there wasn’t much to do on the site). Soon most of my friends swapped to the new thing so I did.

 

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Do not get me wrong, Facebook could be beneficial if you travel a lot or have family and friends (I mean real friends! Friends that you actually met in person and care about). But suddenly I found myself running into the these problems:

Friend Request from fake profiles: I am not sure if it still a thing, but back then there were a competition of who has more friends in the profile. This made a lot of people to create fake profiles to add regular users just to proof they could have thousands of “friends”. Also many from high school that never cared about me where trying to get on my profile. My question was “why?” as I declined them.

Privacy: Everything became public all the sudden. I can’t tell when it became acceptable to post or comment about every little thing in your life. From what you ate for dinner (which I am guilty of that: check out my instagram page btw 💪) to a narration of the battle you had sitting on the toilet bowl.

Lack of conversations in real life: As I mentioned before, social media changed how we communicate with our fellow friends and family members. Many times I found myself in gatherings of meeting were face to face conversations were almost impossible to have.

“Did you know that I went on vacation last week” – me

“Yes, I seen it on Facebook” – friend lady

*End of conversation*

Sometimes I debate if is Facebook or if is that we do not care or like to make any effort to interact with others. But anyways, I will blame it on Facebook.

Drama: Suddenly all the Soap opera drama was available to us on our News Feed. To me it was a little disturbing, especially at the beginning, but then it became part of my daily entertainment. Very addicting and dangerous, this was one of the main reason I gave up Facebook. I was spending more time on other people’s business, and forgot how life was out of the News Feed.

Violence and morbidness: I swear some people enjoy to damage others, and unfortunately Facebook became a tool for those who employs it. Fights, people degrading others, even rape has shown on the site. Yes, I can be reported so the it can be taken down. I rather not being part of it at all. If I am against watching the news because of the negativity of this world, why would I watch it on my feed?

Today, I try to spend more time with my family. I know they (my babies and husband) are my priority. Is still care about everybody I allowed on my Facebook profile, now they just have to call me to learn how my vacation was. There is time in life for the people I care about.

This is just my opinion,

Mrs B’s opinion!

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Children · Literature · Moms · Poetry

A Letter To My Children

My dear children,

I loved you before I seen you.

I knew you before I met you.

I dreamed you before I had you.

 

My dear children,

You soften my heart.

You weakened me.

Vulnerable now I am.

My dear children,

You trust me your life.

You rely on my care.

I pray everyday,

I won’t let you down.

My dear children,

Please forgive me,

My lack of knowledge.

Know that all I want,

Is to take care of you.

-Mom (Mrs. B)

 

 

Binge Eating & Bulimia · Diet · Obesity · Recovery

Addicted to the Scale

Nowadays is so easy to get addicted to substances or  certain behaviors. Form alcohol and drug addiction to a TV show on Netflix (binge watching). Some are more socially acceptable than others but that doesn’t make it less harmful. As an overeater, binge eater and a bulimic, (I am also an Al-Anon) I am a person with many compulsions. Constantly I have to watch my behaviors since they could easily turn into habit.

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As I was turning to taking pills, fasting and vomiting after my binges, my relationship with the scale changed. Initially I weighed myself weekly. But then I start doing it daily. I was so concerned I would gain weight after my binges that I had to know what was going on. Then I started weighing myself in the mornings and nights. Then after drinking water or  using the bathroom.  I was out of control. I got obsessed with the numbers. But it did not matter how low they were, they weren’t low enough to help my self-steam. On the contrary, it would lower it. In a matter of weeks my identity changed, I was no longer myself but 180 or 178 pounds. That’s how I started seeing myself. I could not stand see my own image in the mirror (it is still hard sometimes). I tried so many times to negotiate with myself and to justify stepping on the scale. The more I stepped on the scale, the worst I felt. No weight loss motivation came from keeping track of my weight.

I was so sick of it. The more stepped on the scale, the more I binge that day. These binges caused more weight gain, and this is what probably started my bulimic behaviors. That’s when I figure that if I use laxatives or take pills the next morning it wouldn’t matter what happened the night before. And it just got worse from there.

Today, I manage to weigh myself once a month. Sometimes I still get that impulse to step on the scale especially when I feel really good about myself. I remind myself daily of my value as a person and not a number. Just like my eating disorders, the stepping on the scale behavior might not go away. I will keep fighting in everyday. Walking little steps to recover.

Cooking · Diet · keto

Keto Chocolate Mug Cake

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Ingredients:

  • 2 tbsp 100% Cocoa Powder
  • 2 tbsp sweetener (stevia)
  • 1 egg
  • 1 tbsp heavy whipping cream
  • 1/4 tsp baking powder
  • 1/2 tsp vanilla extract
  • pinch of salt

Frosting Ingredients:

  • 1oz Neufatel cheese
  • 1/2 tsp sweetener
  • 1/4 tsp heavy whipping cream

Instructions:

Beat the egg in a bowl. Add all the ingredients to the egg and mix well. Spray a mug (make sure is microwave safe) with cooking spray. Add the mixture. Cook in the microwave for 50-60 seconds.

Frosting Instructions:

Add the rest of the ingredients to the Neufatel cheese until it gets fluffy. Put on you mug cake.

Enjoy!

Cooking · Diet · keto

Keto favorite finds in ALDI

In my house we go grocery shopping once a week. Lately we have manage to create a weekly menu (my husband and I) and actually stick up with it. Most of out meats from Walmart and the rest of the groceries at ALDI. In this post I want to share some of my favorites. This post will be updated as I find more good stuff.

Pork Rinds

Spicy or original ALDI has these babies usually for .99 cents. The cheapest bag at Walmart is double the price.

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Nuts

There is a big selection of nuts and seeds. Some packages are mixed and might have extra carbs. But the unsalted peanut and roasted almonds are pretty safe.

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Coconut Oil

This oil is perfect for cooking and delicious to put on coffee. It is organic and  and cold-pressed.

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Heavy Whipping Cream

This what I use for my coffee when I don’t do the coconut. A whole 16 ounces for less than a couple bucks.

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Tuna

Cheap and great for quick meals

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Neufchatel Cheese

This cream cheese has less carbs than regular cream cheese. Is really good for my low carb brownies.

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Cheese

ALDI has a great selection on cheese. My favorites are Mozzarella string cheesee and Monterrey Jack (block).

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Meats

Their selection  is average but ALDI is honestly the only place I find skirt steak. Chicken is also priced decent.

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Binge Eating & Bulimia · Literature · Poetry

After a binge…

When I was in high school I wanted to be a writer. It was my dream to be published. There is short stories and poems of mine. My friends used to love reading my stuff. I applied for a literature B.A at the University of Puerto Rico, Cayey where I was accepted. I stupidly turned down the opportunity because of fear of losing a boyfriend. Then I quit writing. So, this is my first poem in ten (10) years. Please acknowledge my native language is Spanish and some of my grammar and spelling are not proper.

After a binge 
I feel bad
I feel shame
I feel like a crazy pig
 

I try to change
Once again
Do it hard 
I know I'll fail


I have to die
My old self
I need to be
Someone else
 

I hate myself 
I hate my skin
'Cause like a zombie 
I'm slowly in

A pool of mud
I'm sinking in
I want to eat 
Your messy stress 

I want to run?
I want to pray?
I can't make up
My scary brain


I need a body
A new one to like
I want the strength
To fight for me

Binge Eating & Bulimia · Diet · keto · Obesity

Fad Diets I’ve Tried: What Works and Keeps Me On Track

You get bombarded with so many fad diets nowadays, it can be discouraging. At least I was. And I spended most of my life trying them alone, together with weight loss pills or extreme exercise. I did lost a total of -28.63 % of fat. But a lot of time was wasted on the wrong diets, ending on yo-yo dieting.

As I mention on the blog post Fad Diets I’ve Tried: Which Ones Didn’t Work? , unhealthy eating was learned at home. This is not the reason I am a bulimic, but it might have been what activated my hereditary binging disorder (BED). I am not blaming my father. To this day, he has no idea of his illness. He is over 60 years old and too concern about other medical conditions to even worry about what enters to his mouth. He will probably leave this earth and not know about it. I have been through a lot of pain and suffering because of my eating disorder. I am really grateful that I was able to see that I have a bigger problem than just liking food too much.

So here I am sharing with you some things that I have found learned with time. They help me on daily basis to battle my binge eating disorder.

Overeaters Anonymous/Food Addicts Anonymous

Just like Alcoholic Anonymous, Overeaters Anonymous is a 12 step program. It is great to know and feel that you are not the only one battling with food. It has help me a lot to create connections with others. I still can’t do a flawless program. This is an honesty program and it God really hard when I had to admit to myself my problems were serious. Even worst to have two admit to my family and a husband that I am a bulimic. I do not follow these programs by the book I simply use a lot of their principles and material. Starting by having a higher power that can help me with my problems. Today I am aware I could not do this on my own.

Ketogenic Diet

I probably tried most of the fat diets out there. Every single one lead me to total frustration. Not too long ago I found the ketogenic diet or low carb, high fat diet. At first it did not sound the greatest idea to block my arteries with cholesterol. After a few weeks of research I decided to give it shot. There were too many good reviews and apparently so many benefits it was almost impossible  not to consider it. During the first 12 days of keto I lost 10.4 pounds. What? Yes it was unreal to me. I figured I was doing something wrong because of the huge amount of weight loss and weakness I experienced. I almost had to quit but I felt that I could stick up with the ketogenic diet. It seems to be so easy to follow (comparing to other diet I tried) and I always had a  meal choice everywhere I went. The results motivated me to do some more research and that’s when I learned I had keto-flu and took care of it quickly.

Journalism/Blogging

As a person with a high stress job, I need to find ways to release it. Writing about my feelings, thoughts and actions allows me to see my behaviours (especially the addictive ones). This helps me to be more proactive and cautious about my eating disorders.Now blogging is something new to me.

I am used to write down my feelings but I never shared them before. Believe me, I feel highly vulnerable by writing my experiences and struggles. I know how is it to feel isolated because of the eating disorders. I might have to live with binge eating disorder and bulimia for the rest of my life. But there is relief and recovery for people suffering with these diseases. There is hope.

Mrs. B